> 6.  Kendall  139  Is it true that mennonites only figure out what makes
babies, after their wife has child number 5?

> 9.  Shawn  154   Congrats on your engagement. I can see that youre losing
your mind already.
(*Editor's Note: Somebody wants to marry Shawn?)

> 12.  Amy 310  Need you to clean the Church toilets.  Thanks

> 13.  Kevin 352  Need you to put furniture back up, at the Loewens house after
half time.

> Paul   Green Bay   15   Does it get any worse than picking high against your
favourite team and losing?

WEEK 3

> Sorry about the lateness but I was on a clergy canoe trip and we had to
talk a lot about Jesus and stuff.

> I really need to say this.  Paul..you worse than suck!!!!!!  You explode
into a billion shimmering pieces of suck and they in turn breed suck.  Perhaps
you should wait another week or two, before you start picking teams into the
triple digits.

> Kendall   104    Youve proven yourself pool distinguished, when I thought you
were a slob.

> Brynden  131  hang on..I'm going outside to see if Armageddon has begun.

> Diana  136   Nice to beat you by a few points...now quit swearing at the good
people in the pool.

> Paul    175   Words cannot express the joy I feel, when you collapse like a
rotten hairy barked horse chestnut.

WEEK 4

> Woodsie  114  The Doc must have performed a lobotomy on himself

> Diana      117  She's a woman to contend with..the kind that we all hate!!!!!

> Murray   123  He may not be the dork that we think he is.

> Paul  147   You continue to show us that you are willing to spend hours on
something that is eating you up and spitting you out.

> Amy 168   Glad you can join us this year..we need someone to occupy the
eternal, " I suck " spot.

OVERALL IN THE PICTURE OF HEROES AND LOSERS

> Woodsie  513  Herman Munster on crack cocaine

> Amy  609   Medusa on a bad hair day

> Patti 704  Bloody Mary, all plagued up and nowhere to phester.

> Kendall/Amy   PIttsburgh  10  I think that the infamous "halftime couple" are
in cahoots.

THE SAMONELLA PICKS OF THE WEEK

> Shawn   New Orleans  9    Arent you glad that Arizona picked this week to
remember what football was all about.

> Amy  Washington  10  You see, this is how we can tell that youre an amateur. 
Sticking with your team, even when they suck gummi worms.

WEEK 5

> Patti    109   This right here, ladies and gentlemen, is the exact reason
that I contemplate suicide every so often.

> Shawn   113    You need to spend less time on sports and more time working on your sermons...oh yeah, and realizing why you'd throw away your life away with something like marriage.

> Dana   120   You must have a kerchief to your nose right now, awestruck at
the fact that you missed top three.

> Bear   138  It sucks when your good weeks are 8th place eh?

> Brynden  144  You need to go to university and take the "get a life" course.

WEEK 6

> Diana   118   Just like the Red Sox, more lucky than good.

> Steve   137   Mr. Mediocre

> Murray   139  Mrs. Mediocre

> Woodsie  145  Do you have the ability to think or just write with big made up
words.

OVERALL AS SEEN IN COMIC CHARACTERIZATIONS

> Dana      732    Hobbes..this cool guy who is silent to most people

> Woodsie  810  Charlie Brown on the pitchers mound

> Paul     850    The Born Loser

> Bear   868   Yogi getting tagged by Ranger Rick

WEEK 7

Sounds like people are getting a little antsy to hear what the good ole meister has to say this week.  Forgive me for taking my time.  I'll try my darndest to hop on to the stress wagon of useless existence and monotony, that the rest of you stumps ride on.  Forgive me for stopping to thank Jesus for life, and cutting down his forest for winter heat.....I'll try to shun the guy dying with cancer, and my family time for you trailor park boys and girls.
   Anyway, Amy winning the week in fine style gives me this feeling of cow dung mushing up my nostrils. I mean, I'd rather put a bullet in my head, then commend her on a job well done.

> Amy   168    I think that Jesus picked this week to encourage you, becuase
everyone needs to know there's a heaven at the end of their miserable existence.
He also told me that he doesn't like all your sex talk, and wishes that you acted more Amish.

> Kendall  187  Hows Menno Simons today? Are ye floating back with your piety
in check you half time weasel you.

> Dana   193    I'm so happy when you play crappy, I'm plucky when you sucky,
I'll pull even my names Stephen, I wish you well down there in.....hey how's your week?

> Shawn   198  Shawn..I hate to say this, but Kevin doesnt try or care about
anything, and he beat you.  Perhaps you should run real fast into a brick wall,
with your face, and then try again this week.

OVERALL PICKS, AND THE HALLOWEEN DATES THAT GO WITH'EM

> Murray  960   Good enough to take Sissy Spacek to the prom

> Schular  984  Sending you and broom Hilda to Deerhurst Resort.

> Bear   1041    King Kong has found you very attractive.  Maybe you should turn around and face him......AAA  HHAAAA  HHAAAA  i'M KILLIN MYSELF OVER THIS ONE..HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  HAHAHAHA  LOL..LOL..LOL

> Paul  1061  Batman finds you so attractive, he gave you Robins tights.

> Amy   Bengs   10  OKay Okay..I commend you. Pick of the week (Luck of the
century)

> Kendall  Pack  10   Youre as cheesy as they are, but good pick.  have you  noticed that ever since Paul has dissed GB in his between the Lines, that they've
done nothing but win.

> Paul    Rams  20    You are a complete loser.

> Kevin  Indy   17   hyper down child..frig, the apple doesnt fall far does it?

> Paul  seattle  20   Tell you what..stand on the Highway, let a truck run you flat, get him to back up, and repeat the process over and over again.  You'll have more fun.

> Schular   Carolina  7  Let me guess..youve tried your cousins "possibility
thinking".

> Patti  bears  7  Please go play with Paul on the HWY

> Bear/Amy/Woodsie/Murray  NYG  10   Hey its the three stooges and Yoko Ono.

> Schular   Oakland  7   Perhaps you have what we call  Shawnfortynineritis. This devastating disease causes one to pick according to personal favourites, ad infinitum, thus fulfilling the saying: " The definition of crazy is a person who does the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result."  we believe that Shawn has been healed of this morbid disease, but we had to pump him full of Exlax and Viagra.

WEEK 8

> Paul , you must be the most insecure toddler moron that ever lived.  The guy places third, and he throws a party that would make Hugh Heffner jealous.

> Paul    184  Well you might as well enjoy it there Ralph..before you go back
and join son Kev.

> Dana     198  Wow..youre not Jesus. Whatchya doin back with us publicans and sinners.

> Steve   2bloodyhundred.  I need a healing.  Where's Benny Hinn.

> Patti    239    Patti..we love you..BUT...when I got picks from 2year old Sarah, she did better than this.  However, we will continue to let you participate, because we feel sorry for your pathetic existence, and like every group of Christians..you are our little "project".  May this form of discipleship do for you what shock therapy didnt.

OVERALL AS COMPARED TO THE MONUMENTS OF THE WORLD.

> 2.  Dana   1123    Macchu Pichhu  High in the Andes.  on what, we dont know.

> 3.  Murray  1156  Mount Rushmore:  Have to get your face in everything I run.

> 5.  Woodsie  1179  The Parthenon: Cuz your brain reminds us of naked
philosophers.

> 6.  Steve   1185    The dykes of Amsterdam:  Full of holes and my picks are
gay.

> 9.  Brynden  1228  The Step Pyramid:  It exists without a point.

> 13.  Patti  1303  Leaning tower of Pisa:  The attempt was there, but no tenants upstairs.

HI..MY PICKS SUCK

yup..its pretty much sure, that the people on this list, don't want to be here.  Lets thank the Lord for Patti, cuz if she didn't exist, we wouldnt have this category this week.

> Brynden  Vikes  13  Shoulda happened, but now ya look like an idiot.  Sorry,
cant be helped. Some people are just better at it.

> Kevin   Philly 21  Whoa boy.  Gettin the horsepower a little high there maestro. bring it on down a knotch.

WEEK 9

Alas, what sarcasm have I, now that I'm at the peak of the foul heap of poolie waste.  I am the diarrhetically infused filth of my own making.  How can I motivate myself to dress down myself?  I hate me.  Where is the passion to commit unfathomable distinctions unto my primordial cognations. A hellion bears more victory than an impish simpleton such as I.  woe is me, for I want to kill you all.  From here on, please refer to me as Quinton Tarantino.

> Diana  146  Take your blonde hair and strangle yourself.

> Kdogg 153  The only time you will ever see money from me is when I shove it
up your nose with a wrench.

> Schular 170  Are you this mediocre when you preach?  Hows them altar calls
going.

OVERALL IN THE EYES OF SCRIPTURE

Diana  1238      Well done thou good and faithful servant.
Dana   1284      ..I have seen greater faith here than in all of.......
Murrman  1353  they presented Him with gold, frankincense and Murr
Schular  1355   guard the trust
Woodsie 1358   ..and he argued with his ass....
Kendall   1361  It is more blessed to give than to receive
Shawn   1385   the fool and his folly
Steve    1388  Let no unclean thing come out of thy mouth
Bear    1389   ..and they came onto the Ark two by two
Paul    1414   and the serpent said, "you will be like God"
BMac  1422   and the disciples rebuked the children
Amy 1430    and Jezebel fell from her window, and was eaten by the dogs.
Patti  1466   ..and Sapphira fell to the ground , dead....
Kdogg  1492   Come quickly Lord Jesus

> Paul    Denver  11  A flash of brilliance in  a sea of dung

> Patti   Bucs  5  When you do good, I need alcohol

WORST PICKS

I thought I had a corner on this, but Lo and behold, there were some stupid
picks out there this week.

> Amy    NYG  17   Just when you present yourself as brilliant, you come off
looking like Elvira, mistress of the dark.

> Murray   Chiefs  17    why was I last??

WEEK 10

By the way Paul, you look like a fag with those horses.

> Woodenhead    129    Draws the exactor for first

> Poolmeister    141    Ascends toward the coronation

> Hip-Hip Murr-ay   146   Cheers are turning to jeers

> Gayna      151     Finally gains on Jane Fonda

> Carebear   157  Does the bear care?

OVERALL IN THE FACE OF MY FOOD LIKINGS.( A hard list to deduce)

> Diana    1412  Reminds me of steak and potatoes on the BBQ.  Man I could
bathe in it, in Diana sauce.

> Dana     1435   Pizza Hut lunch buffet.  Its the gift that keeps giving and
giving.

> Woodsie  1487  Freshwater fresh caught pike and bass.  great meat wrapped in
a greasy concoction of batter.

> Kendall   1509   Potatoes, corn, and butter .  great, butt toward bland

> Poolmeister  1529  Cream......rising when not being churned

> Bear    1546   Fatty Ham   Some like it, but I feel like I'm chewing on Rita
MacNeils leg

PICKS OF THE WEEK

> Brynden  Chicago  2   Shade of brilliance in ocean of flatulance

> Steve  Philly  17   I bow to your applause

WEEKS 11 > For some completely mysterious reason, the Poolmeister gave no updates or headlines for this week.

WEEK 12

> Its gonna be tough for me to be humble here, so I'll just introduce this report by saying, that by the grace and Sovereignty of God, I His chosen football son, came to this yonder vineyard, and am slowly takin my rightful place among the steaming fecal of humanity, in an attempt to show the pool, just how the supernatural works. Unfortunately, unlike his other Son, I cannot save the lost.

> Steve   162   Which one of you wants to sit on my right hand.  Don't argue. 
Don't send your mothers.

> Paul  197   Perhaps you feel like I did two years ago....sucking bad...hating
football..but having to stay with it, because the whole nation is dependant on your stats.  Its painful isn't it.

> Bear  199   Well my friend, shall I start making the football coffin right now.  You're all growl, but in the end you eat berries.

> Woodsie  209    AAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA LOSER

OVERALL IN LIGHT OF THE CHRISTMAS STORY REPRESENTATIVES

> Diana   1753    The Baby Jesus- the centrepiece of why we're here

> Dana    1786    Melchior- finding the star and heading in the right direction

> Myrrhman 1855    Thinks bringing frank makes cence

> Kendall   1858   Innkeeper -Picks a good business, but in the crunch rejects
salvation.

> Steve     1866   Virgin Mary-  Round and Yawn

> Schular 1182-  Joseph..needs dreams to get where he's going

> Bear   1916  The Cow-cuz he's having one.

> Shawn 1927  The donkey- feels full weight of God on his shoulders.

> Kdogg  2027  The Little Drummer Boy-nothing to bring. Ticks everyone off by
beating on stuff.

THE "ATTEMPT TO RAISE A WHITE FLAG PICKS OF THE WEEK"

> Paul   Denver  22    You must have wanted to kill yourself Sunday night.

> Bear   49ers  9   I used to think you a wise man.....now you are a camel

> Patti   STL  7    You havent been watching Favre the last 5 weeks have you. (By the way..dont you just hate typing Favre's name.  You get this little brain  spellcheck thing go off in your mind.)

WEEK 17

> Diana   133   You just had to rub our noses in it, by taking the week and the pool didnt you.  You left us all with a real helpless feeling this year.....and a distaste for dumb blondes that dont know their role.

> Amy  147   Glad you were in the pool..hate the fact that you beat me.  I think you should name your baby Steve..or if its a girl, name her Paul.  Glad the pool could serve you in such a way.

> Paul   162   I'll say this once more this year, and then I'm done.  If you sucked any more, we would have to call you STRAW.

> Steve      238   This is what happens when you know you should commit suicide, but you figure you can make yourself live one more weekend.

> Shawn  239   Thanks for coming out jerk.

> Patti     239    Thanks for stepping out of our lives jerkette.

OVERALL in the light of popular Canadians

> 1.  Diana    2563       Stop the press, blondes do have more fun.  Silken Laumann......beats everyone, even though she's got a bum leg..or in your case a
sleep disorder that makes you beat Paul with your legs.  Good job there sis!!!

> 2.  Dana    2661    Gord Lightfoot...quietly does the same thing over and over again.

> 3.  Schular  2690   Ben Johnson.....runs well, but gets stripped well too.

> 4.  Brynden  2701   Dalton McGuinty...every one seems impressed that he rose
quickly through the ranks, and now everyone hates the fact that he's here.

> 5.  Murray   2737    David Suzuki...an educator of the highest degree, yet half of what he says, is full of crap.

> 6.  Kendall  2747    Pat Quinn....a heck of a player, but no hope of finishing in first.

> 7.  Bear    2770  Isaac Brock...firm in resolve, wise in battle, but in the end, falls off horse dead.

> 8.  Woodsie   2809    Mackenzie King.....tries to come across as wise, but
everyone know he communicates with his dead animal to get ahead.

> 9.  Shawn   2846    Ed Broadbent..shows up, leaves, no one knows who he is,
what he did, or why!!!

> 10.  Amy   2868     Sheila Copps......loud mouthed and boisterous..and sleeps around at halftime. (*Editor's note: this was the best of the year Stever! LMAO!)

> 11.  Steve  2869    Michael J. Fox......makes people laugh, then gets the shakes and forgets how to pick.

> 12.  Paul   2922   Don Cherry..forceful..stupid.

> 13.  Patti   2988   Margaret Trudeau......once held sway, dissappeared into
oblivion.

> 14.  Kevin  3034   Ashley MacIsaac.....he's here, but he dont care about jack!!!!

WORST PICKS OF THE BUNCH

> Paul     Houston   15   I hope the drugs were good, cuz your picks resemble
Alice Cooper on judgment day.

> Steve   Philly  10    Watch some sports you idiot!!!

> Steve   KC  21     Nice attempt by me to make up a lot of ground.  Please write, "He tried!!" on my gravestone.  Thanks.

> Woodsie   Carolina  13   Maybe you should have put, when submitting to Paul..."  I dont careOLINA by 13"


WEEKENDS HEADLINES

> Vick gets more yards than all NFL running backs

WEEK 3

> Mounting..the Eagles shut the Lions mouths

> For week Four, Fiedler finds foul 'phins forfeiting future

WEEK 4

> Saints recant under Cardinals INquisition

> Erb cries "Shucks!" as Cisco sucks

> No McNair, no flair

> Bears look like naked ladies.

WEEK 5

> Buccs win cuz Saints sin.

> Buffalo sucks, poolmeister from Canada, ecstatic.

> Titans smile and say cheese to defensive headcases.

WEEK 6

> McNair hit by Carr

> Steeltown sings: "Another one Rides the bus"

WEEK 7

> Flock of Ravens pick out Bledsoe's eyes

> Chiefs hold pow wow, scalp city of Atlanta

WEEK 8

> Dallas scores 31, and shocks known world. Reuters Saturn

>Colts/Chiefs play basketball

> Raiders like 1st graders

WEEK 9

> Jets crash in Buffalo

> Cowgirls undressed by Bengals

WEEK 10

> Tuna in hot water

> Browns latest team to be smeltered

WEEK 12

> Bengs and Browns show why defense comes first.(dont tell Indy)

> " HI, I'm Chucky..can I slit my throat"

> Gibbs can't ketchup on Rothlis' burger

> "Oh when the saints...they go to hell.."

WEEK 17 (don't ask where Weeks 13-16 are, we don't know!)

> Titans win..we aint Lion

> Bengals beat Philly's practice squad